This is ending soon.

I believe that we all have to accept that even the purest hearts could get dirty sometimes.

It is hard to accept that things just happen.

Thank God for the beautiful moments that do.

You have ended then.

When I told you that I ran;

I really did. I still am.

There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude, a quiet joy.

Now this is what happens when you've lost all faith in yourself.

Nothing you do feels right, nothing you say seems to justify any of your beliefs and then everything else is just full of self-doubt and bull shit.

You start believing in everyone else; but yourself. Then you forget who you are and you go down. You come home and all you do is sleep. When you get up, you've never felt more sleepy. When you're awake, all you think about is the next time you can sleep. You throw the blame of how you feel onto something that isn't exactly affecting you. You've gone past that wave and yet you keep throwing your boat onto it. Everyone else seem to reach stars you've never even came across in your wildest dreams; it makes you wonder how insignificantly small your dreams might really be. You tell everyone funny stories; only to find out that they know how many veils you're hanging on your scarred facade. Let me ask you what should we do; What do I do when I really don't believe in myself? When I really can't? When I am so unsatisfied with so many things. Don't tell me I'm just supposed to get over it and just live with it because I don't want to. Don't tell me things I know. Tell me something so that I can do for myself some good. So for once, let me be selfish; because I know, when I accept myself; only then can others accept me.

I want to feel that quiet joy.